Start of school for Barbara

Well summer is over for me and time has come to get back to the real world and put in my time in the working field. I have started back to work and it has been an interesting start to the new year.

I was told I was going to have a Temporary Contract this year. This coming only after I have worked for the district for 6 and a half years. I was so excited because this not only gave me benefit ( which isn't important because thank goodness Rob provides this for me and Beth), but I would get "SICK" days!!!! I would not only get the sick days I would also get to have my pay stretched out for the whole 12 months instead of not getting a pay check in the months of July and August. I also would start putting money into a retirements account, This was all very exciting. BUT..... The hitch is that the director of the pre-school never summited my name so as of right now I am not under contract and will continue to be a time reported para for the time being. I was reassured that I will be getting one just we don't know when HR will be doing that.

We also have 3 new pre-school class rooms added to our team!!! Yea for that. We had only 2 classrooms in years past in our school (19 classrooms thru the district), so now we have 5 classrooms. They have no furniture or supplies all this was ordered and was expecting a delivery Thursday some time. BUT..... We found out that the order was never put in so they are without ANY furniture or supplies. We have Orientation on Monday and the children start on Tuesday. The furniture and supplies will not be delivered until the TUESDAY AFTER the Labor day weekend. How is that for a school district!!!! I can't believe that someone dropped the ball on this. So we got together and pulled resources from the other two classrooms and the school, to see if we can get the room's set up and running. We only need to have this arrangement for 3 days as we have Orientation on Monday, and we are off on Friday and the following Monday for Labor day weekend until it all can be delivered...

What a start to the school year. I am hoping that it will get better and that this is not an indication of things to come.

Our day has also changed from the way we were use to. They pulled all the different programs that existed within pre-school that use to have separate classrooms. We now have a mixture of children ( these can be children with IEP's, our ECAP,and tuitions paying) in one classroom so we can serves more children. My program if yo remember was for low income children, IEP's are children who may delayed in an area,a tuition are household who can afford to paid for day care. Good idea!! BUT.... We now have 3 year olds, new time structure to our day and possibly not enough time to do it all.

Our day will start at 9:00am with 3 year olds; this brings with it...diapers (possibly- most likely), snack (which we have never done before), criers, and children who have never been in a classroom let alone away from their moms. This is not as bad as it sounds (I hope) and I am looking forward to having the experience with them. They leave at 11:30am on BUSES and some pick-up. The afternoon children will be getting off the bus at 12:00pm!!!! Yes I said 12:00pm!!!!!! How in the world are we to get 3 year olds on a bus, eat lunch and get the room set up for them in a half an hour???????? What were they thinking. This doesn't account for if we have late buses (and we always do).

So I guess I am trying to say that my year will be a very trying one and if I seem grouchy and snappy please don't take it to heart, I just may need a hug!!!!

I do love working with children!!! I do love getting out of the house and spending time with adults!!!! I do love getting a pay check!!!!! I do love having my summers off!!!! I do love having time off around the holidays!!!

I choose to be here and I will make this a good year if it kills me..........

My thoughts for today!!!

Wow it has been awhile since I have written on this blog. I guess you can say I have dropped the ball so to speak. I started this blog because I want a place where I can write down the things that were going on in my life when they happened. I didn't count on that sometimes I would get a mental block on what to write about.

Do I write about my feelings? I don't think that would be too interesting or sometimes I think it would be to depressing.

Should I write about my every day life? There again sometimes it would be to much to write and other times my life can be boring and not so interesting.

Then when I do find time to sit and maybe attempt to write something, I get interrupted by others and my train of thought gets side tracked.

This summer taught me a lot about human behavior. First, if you don't do anything neither will anyone else. For example if you don't call people and ask to do things with them or be included, you don't get to do things with them or have them call you. So I am left to surmise that I would not have been included or thought of in the first place.

If you stay in your house, you get to be alone with no thought of you on any ones mind.

If you initiate a plan and then call people they would be more then willing to get together to do things, but if you do not make that first step you are left by the side lines.

I guess what I am trying to say and it is coming out as depressing is that we are in control of our lives. WE need to make the first move or do things by ourselves. No one is responsible for your life but you. But there are things that are confusing to me.

Then it got me to thinking? What makes a friend, is it someone who listens, cares, feels your pain, laughs with you, cries with you, but in the end is there to have spent some time to be with you. Or is a friend just someone who puts up with you and is not willing to have you as a part in their lives but puts on a good front. I have been confused on this matter for awhile now.

I know my true friend and yes I said the singular friend. She is there no matter what, she will listen and love me for who I am. I can count on her no matter how much time passes or what gets in our way. So why doesn't this seem to work with other people.

I have tried to give space, but that comes off not interested. I have tried to be more aggressive but then I am to pushy. Maybe it is the way I talk, how I laugh a little too loud, have not enough to talk about at times( but my one true friend and I can talk for hours) hummmm.....

Most times I don't do things because I don't feel truly welcomed. I always feel like an outsider. Sometimes in my own family. Is this just my mind thinking this way for some reason or is it truly something that hinders me from making friends.

I guess I will have to ponder on this matter more to find out. I only know I try very hard to be the best person I can be, love who I am with, do things for others, try and be a good listener, be funny when I can, be sorry for things I've may have done wrong, show interested in others, try and be of service the best way I know how, be available to others and still I am doing something wrong.

One day I hope to find out what that is.